The Wait

This.

Wait.

Is.

Killing.

Us!

You would think by now we are used to the waiting game. After all, we started our adoption journey in August of last year, but since we’ve seen our baby’s face, we just can’t wait to get there and meet him and hug him! It has now been three weeks since we officially accepted Terefe’s referral, and we are still waiting to hear about a court date. The court date will determine when we travel to meet our handsome little man, so naturally we are getting antsy, waiting for news.

In the meantime, we have been learning more about our baby, Ethiopia, and basking in all of the excitement!

We have learned that we won’t really know how T’s birth name is pronounced until we get there. Our caseworker told us that we can try to look for an audio pronouncer online, but that it likely will sound different in-country, so we haven’t even bothered. We did decide we will keep his birth name as a middle name, and are still waffling on his first name. We have it narrowed down, but can’t make a final decision. I was hoping that we would have to have it by the time we travel for court documents and U.S. Embassy paperwork, but I am told we actually will have to change his name once we are back here in the U.S. So there goes the idea of a looming deadline that would push us to decide! Trust me, once we have the name, there will be a big announcement!

Several people have asked about his ability to recognize his name, how that will affect changing it and if he is hearing any English right now at the transition house.

1.      I am told his name is actually being used quite a bit right now and he would indeed recognize it. (not sure if I have shared with you all, but in Amharic, Terefe means ‘he has been spared’. Such a profound choice by his birth mom!)

2.      I am told that many babies’ names are changed during the adoption process and that the transition should involve a blend of both names, gradually phasing out the birth name.

3.      He is not being spoken to in English. There would not be a reason for his caretakers to know English, they are all Ethiopian, mostly speaking Amharic. As you can imagine, developmentally he will be thrown a curveball at first, but I have been reassured by a few different specialists and experts on this topic that he will adjust just fine.

NOW, you might be asking, “Why change his name?, Especially if you really like his birth mom’s choice?” Mike and I have discussed this a lot. We both feel that our child will stand out as “different” in a lot of ways and that in this one way, especially early on (think preschool, elementary), we feel that we can help him feel a little less unique. YES, I think we should all embrace our differences, but let’s be honest the world doesn’t necessarily agree. Watch the evening news any night of the week and you will see that. We also love and respect his mother for giving us such a beautiful gift and we want to preserve this precious tie to his roots so we have chosen to move his birth name to a middle name. We feel that when he is older, if he would like to go by his birth name, it’s there as an option. I know there are many different ways of viewing all of this, but this is what we feel is best for our family. So, with that, stay tuned for a name announcement!

Adoptive families are encouraged to bring donations to the transition house or orphanage where their child is. We currently are trying to figure out what all we are bringing. As you can imagine, formula is a big need. We’ve also learned that toothpaste and clothing for older children and caretakers are in big demand, as are baby clothes. Luckily, my sister has been awesome in saving a lot of my one-year-old nephew’s clothing for us to take with us. In fact we have so much that I have been eyeing up the piles and our suitcases and wondering how it’s all going to fit! I can say this is a trip that I definitely don’t know how to pack for. Luckily, I know a lot of parents who have already done this. They will be a valuable resource!

I also picked up a book last week that I have heard a lot of very good things about. “There is No Me Without You” by Melissa Fay Greene. She is a mom of nine, five of them adopted, four from Ethiopia. Greene is also a journalist and wrote this book to tell the true story of an Ethiopian woman who started a movement to help her country’s orphans. I can’t wait to dive in and share my thoughts!

 Lastly, I found this great little entry in another adoptive families’ blog. The mom who wrote it gives Tips for Supporting Adoptive Families I think she provides some great insight. I know I frequently get questions that people start with "This might be a dumb question, but..." I promise, I've yet to actually hear a dumb question! I know a lot of people don't know much about the adoption process. I don't mind answering anything! So, until next blog...feel free to send me your questions...and keep your fingers and toes crossed that we hear travel dates soon!

 

It's so true!!! And all it took was one photo!